Frank Avis' Memoirs of 42 Years in Radio

Has radio finally gone over the precipice?

2026-04-30T12:00:00+10:00

Has radio finally gone over the precipice that industry veteran/analyst Brendan Sheedy has been warning about for over a decade? Sheeds, a long-time friend and colleague, has been telling us he's been looking along the radio road and all he can see in the distance is a giant precipice, as the audience ditches the old traditional outlets and switches to a myriad of new-fangled sources to get their music and information.

So today, CBS NEWS – one of the giants of our trade – announces it is closing its radio news operation, ending nearly one hundred years of history. This is the network that gave us Edward R Murrow, one of the greatest journos of them all. It impacts about seven hundred affiliate stations across America who have to find another source for their news. And when does this happen? 2027 to 2028? Nope... The whole thing has gone from May the 22nd. That's this MAY, people... 2026. She's gone bust. All that history is finished. CBS Radio News has definitely gone over that dreaded precipice. And how the CBS announcement sounds so similar to what Brendan was saying all those years back, "The business is changing radically... We have to change and chase our audience into the digital arena if we want to survive." Which leaves us asking the question everybody is desperately trying to avoid... What could happen to Australian radio over the next decade?

An excellent segue into the latest Sydney radio ratings, much anticipated by the industry in the wake of the shock exit of K and J from KIIS FM Brekky. And the result is... A big, fat fizzer. Not a shred of drama to be seen. Okay, KIIS did divest 1% but retains the lead as the top FM-er in the early hours. Go figure! What is interesting this time is that the Old Smoothie, Smooth FM, jumped up to 13.3% to share the joint overall lead with 2GB, which continues to rule the airwaves in Breakfast and Mornings. There is another sign of the times with ABC 702 falling to 4.3%, unknown depths for Aunty.

May I also pause to say a last goodbye to a famous ABC identity, with the death of James Valentine, aged 64. He was everywhere on the ABC forever really, amiable and able to carry the full trust of the audience in whatever shift. My main memory is a bit off the beaten track: I absolutely loved James hosting the movie show Flicks. Just suited him to perfection.

A monumental day for modern Australia, February 26, 1970, the day the mighty "Indian Pacific" rolled into Perth on its first trans-continental journey of 4,352 kilometres. The super train had set out from Sydney three days earlier linking the two great oceans. Passengers spend about 65 hours on board crossing the Blue Mountains, and calling into Broken Hill, Adelaide and Kalgoorlie as well as traveling the longest stretch of straight railway track in the world, 478 kilometres, across the Nullabor. It is one of the world's great train journeys.

The South Australian election has proved the upward curve of Pauline Hanson and her One Nation Party, confirmed as a major player for the next twenty years or so but the outlook is so complex for the opposition parties. Is it possible these three parties will be able to cooperate in order to bring down the Labour Government at the next federal poll? It's tricky. Can the Nationals and One Nation work together to share the rural vote, especially on the key question of preferences? There's no point in the two cannibalising each other at the ballot box. Can One Nation continue to eat into the Labor vote in the fringe seats, the electorates sitting on the edge of the cities? The more peripheral seats One Nation can grab the better and finally – the ultimate issue which will decide the Government, can the Libs start hitting back in the inner-cities, recapturing seats from the dreaded Greals? Can the Libs regain the trust of the inner-city voters, given that the Greals (Greens and Teals) have little or no meaningful connection at the coalface (these buffoons have no idea about Australia... I doubt they'd even be able to find it on a map) but the people who vote for them are pretty much the same... Equally clueless. I mean there's no way One Nation or the Nationals will be able to challenge inside the big cities... So it's over to the embattled libs to do the heavy lifting.

It was just a line or two, a few words really, in an email from daughter-in-law, Jo, telling me that her dad had reminded her that his mum, Dorothy Butler, was a "chute girl" back in England in World War Two. Now, I sat up and took notice immediately. I know the "chute girls": they're one of the legendary groups of women who stayed behind to keep the nation running after their men left to fight in Europe and the Pacific. Hundreds of thousands of men (in truth probably millions is more realistic) had to leave their homes, their wives, families and their jobs to defend the free world. So hundreds of thousands of women headed out into the workforce... From the USA, across to Britain and Australia, they drove trucks, tractors and buses, built and serviced all manner of machinery. Not only did they keep the home fires burning but they kept the factories running and the buses and delivery trucks operating for over five years of war. They were famous, idolised by all. And now we learn that our extended family can boast that we had one of these heroines among us all those years ago... "Dot the Chute girl". The US created "Rosie the Riveter" – they even wrote a hit song about her – while Canada had "Ronnie the Bren Gun Girl".

Well, we're claiming "Dot the Chute girl" for England. She started out just after leaving school, working on maintaining the big barrage balloons that protected the country from air attack, going on to repairing and folding parachutes. You couldn't make a mistake there... If the chute failed the soldier died a horrific death. Finally they moved her out of the parachute division across to building the Halifax and Avro Lancaster bombers. So, in the end she became "Dot the Riveter". These were funny old times after the war. You could be on a bus sitting next to a Battle of Britain pilot without realising it... Or standing in a queue at the grocers next to a famous "chute girl". These were our everyday heroes.

I know I get a bit sidetracked by nostalgia... There are a lot of references about the "good old days" but let me give you a classic example of then and now. Back in 1976 you'd be driving along the road and somebody up front would break down. Immedialy several cars would stop and half a dozen young guys would jump out and help. A couple would direct traffic and the rest would push the car off the road and in to a safe spot, waiting for road service. In 2026 the car would break down and half a dozen young guys would remain seated and start honking the horn until the car managed to move on. HONK, HONK – GET OUTTA MY WAY. That's life on the road these days.

WHERE'S THAT RAINBOW

Where's that rainbow you hear about,where's that rainbow they cheer about.
Where's that love nest where love is King ever after...
Where's that blue room they sing about, Where's that sunshine they fling about.
I know morning will come but pardon my laughter".

— Peggy-Ann, 1927, by Richard Rodgers with the sophisticated and sardonic lyrics of Larry Hart

Demise of the Kyle and Jackie O breakfast show

2026-03-20T12:00:00+10:00

There is monumental drama in Radio Land this month with the demise of the Kyle and Jackie O breakfast show on KIIS FM. Apparently Jackie decided she couldn't handle Kyle's one-liners any more and fled the studio. The $200m team is finished. Jackie O has left the building. Can you imagine what happened after that? Massive, Massive PUBLICITY! The story is on the front pages of the papers (although I haven't checked the Fin Review), a permanent fixture in the TV headlines, and the gossip Queens are beside themselves in a social media frenzy, "OMG... OMG... Kyle and Jackie O are finished... What will we do? How will we make it through the week? OMG... OMG." And yet here I am with a group of radio old timers wondering to ourselves what would happen if the KIIS mediators moved in and made Kyle and Jackie O an offer they couldn't refuse. What would it be like if they managed to get the pair back together, say in time for a May on-air reunion? Well... Massive, massive PUBLICITY again... Front pages, the TV news and of course social media would return to its normal level of hysteria. And, we could all sigh in relief as all would be well again . Just sayin'. Oh and there is actually a bit of drama ON AIR as well, with SMOOTH FM taking over as Sydney's number one station overall, hitting its best ever number, 13.5 just ahead of the old news warhorse, 2GB at 11.2 (survey 1/2026). GB's Ben Fordham is super strong in Brekky, well ahead of Kyle and Jackie O on KIIS. Survey two of course is all about KIIS minus K and J. In the Southern capital, 3AW is up the top in both breakfast and overalls.

I hate this news from the world of music but we've lost a maestro from the 50's and 60's, a Prince from that classical era of rock ‘n roll – the beloved pianist-composer-singer Neal Sedaka – dead at the age of 86. You were one of the superstars mate... Up there at the peak with top 40 giants like Buddy Holly, Roy Orbison and Carole King. Talk about writing the music of the times... "Oh Carole", "Calender Girl", "Happy Birthday Sweet 16", "Breaking Up is Hard to do" (number 1), "Stupid Cupid" and "Where the Boys are" (for Connie Francis), "Love will Keep us together"(number 1 Captain and Tennille), "Laughter in the Rain "(number 1)... It was my great privilege to see Neal Sedaka live in Melbourne back in the 70's. Let me tell you, watching this legend sing "Breaking Up", sitting at his piano right there in front of me, is one of the best memories of my life.

Ok, I sort of promised not to take politics seriously – continuing a long Australian tradition – but really as we sit here watching Coalition MP's claw each other to death can you honestly remain silent? This is like watching an early episode of Seinfeld. Now the Libs have dumped Sussan Ley as leader,replacing her with Angus Taylor. We kept screaming out to Sussan, month after month, "For heaven's sake do something... Please!" Now I'm looking at Angus and thinking that he's not exactly the most charismatic figure we've seen in politics. Is he really the man who can lead the Coalition back from the dead? It's always the same old story in politics. Bring in the right policies for the nation and promote them with simple and direct messaging. Kick off with the cost of living. Get it down. And tell the country that you will get the natural gas flowing back into our power stations and cut energy costs IN HALF in the first eighteen months in charge. See if that gets any traction out there. The whole Coalition thing has now been further confused by the election of Matt Canavan as Nationals leader. Matt is a very direct "see ball, hit ball" politician who argues that, "Australia grows what it needs, mines what it needs and builds what it needs, with no requirement to import these goods." He also believes, "We can make enough of our own babies here in AUSTRALIA, with no need for mass immigration." Simple huh? The idea of the political landscape for the next four or five years featuring Canavan, Pauline Hanson and Barnaby Joyce is absolutely exquisite.

Time to salute some of the early colonists as we record the first marriages celebrated at Sydney Cove on February 10, 1788. Five couples were declared man and wife that day... William Parr/Mary McCormack, Simon Burn/Frances Anderson, Henry Kable/Susannah Holmes, William Haynes/Hannah Green and William Bryant/Mary Brand.

I was sitting gazing out into the distance recently when this memory bobbed up. "Cocky's Joy" it said, completely out of the blue. We're talking here about "Golden Syrup", a variation of treacle which dates back to the 1860's. I remember lapping it up on my sandwiches in the 40's and 50's and you can still buy it today, down at your local supermarket. As long as I can remember it was always "Cocky's Joy", a nickname dating back to the Aussie outback of the 1800's when it was virtually a staple diet. The famers always had their supplies on hand for their toast , dampers and puddings. The name came from the hard-pressed farmers who, just like the cockatoos, were desperate to scratch a living out of the harsh landscape. This was often the only thing they had to look forward to... Their favourite "Cocky's Joy".

(Photographer Peter Kotz captured this classic image, a giant tub of "Cockey's Joy", dumped on the side of a bush track near Alice Springs)

Just updating Darleen's latest "Apple Report" as we continue to measure our cost of living. You'll remember last time we were costing an apple at $1. That is for ONE APPLE. Sadly Darleen is now recording the cost of an apple up to $1.10. Incidentally, for those taking notes the actual realistic cost of an apple from the farm to you local shopping centre is just 20c. Scary huh?

"If a kid like me can come to this country at twelve with no English and become Mayor of this great city, there's no limit to what you can achieve".
(Bilal El-Hayek, Mayor of Canterbury-Bankstown. Australia Day 2026)

UP THERE CAZALY

"Up there Cazaly, in there and fight.
Out there and at 'em, show 'em your might.
Up there Cazaly, don't let 'em in.
Fly like and angel, you're in there to win."

Written by Mike Brady in 1979, it immediately became an anthem for the AFL. Roy Cazaly was one of the legends of Aussie Rules through the 1910's, 20's and 30's, famous for his high leaping marks over the pack to take a "screamer/speccy". The crowds used to yell out, "Up there Cazaly," and this went on to become the rallying call for our soldiers in WW2.

One of the industry's mysteries has finally been solved

2026-02-02T12:00:00+10:00

So here we are entering another radio ratings year with one of the industry's mysteries finally solved. Nine Radio has accepted a $56m offer to sell off its radio network to hotel billionaire, Arthur Laundy. At least when the journos head down to the pub after their shift they can head for the owners' pub and keep the profits in house. The deal involves a string of stations -– led by the News-Talk giants 2GB and 3AW, along with several others including 4BC and 6PR. Now, I don't want to be negative but $56m? Are these the same assets listed at $275m just over six years back? Somebody check my figures here, please. I'm recording this as a decline of $219 m. That is a massive loss... Around 80% in less than a decade! Look, this is not state-of-the-art economics – I'm just an old bloke sitting in a little office in Sydney – so these numbers could be a bit rubbery. However, if the figures turn out to be right then the implications are absolutely awful. Does this now confirm all the alarms about the decline of our industry as it comes under increasing threat from all manner of competitors providing news/music content directly to consumers on their phones and computers? I've got one mate -– a keen media observer for many years -– who will sum this up in simple terms, telling me that, "the arse is falling out of radio."

It was 126 years ago when our nation was struck down by the most dreaded disease to hit human civilisation... The Black Death. Australia was a sitting duck to fall victim to this ultimate killer – the Bubonic Plague – an island continent, entirely dependant on shipping for trade and transport. The ships arrived and brought with them a deadly cargo of infected rats. We managed to escape the previous two great pandemics in the 14th and 17th centuries but our ports couldn't dodge the bullets this time. The rats got us in the end. The first recorded case was that of delivery driver, 33-year-old Arthur Paine on January 19, 1900. Authorities moved as quickly as they could with quarantine, cleaning and the eradication of over 100-thousand rats but, in the end, the plague claimed 535 deaths downunder, with a death rate of just over 20%. 126 years ago... When the Black Death stalked our country.

(this photo captures the drama of the ratcatchers and their quarry as Sydney fought off the dreaded plague)

Am I the only person slightly baffled by the lack of recent coverage of the search for the Porepunkuh killer in Victoria's North East? It's a funny old beast the news cycle. One minute you're the hottest thing in town, the next the story has evaporated into thin air. It's nearly six months since Desmond "Dezi" Freeman escaped into bushland after three police officer were shot, two fatally. He is armed and dangerous with a million dollar bounty on his head. Thousands of police have been involved in the biggest manhunt in recent memory. There were expert trackers, search dogs, and National Parks cameras and microphones being monitored, without a sign... Not one sign! We had some recent drama when special police teams searched an area of Mt Buffalo National Park, apparently following a lead that Dezi could have taken his own life. But nothing. I don't know whether police have had even one useful lead, to be honest. It's like the fugitive has disappeared off the map. Which is exactly what the local bushies warned about at the start of the search, that Freeman, a highly experienced survivalist, could live out there in the forest country for years – maybe forever – without being sighted. The thing is, the National Park region plays hosts to hundreds of campers, bushwalkers and nature lovers... What happens if one of them happens to accidentlly run into the escapee? That's the question that would be keeping Victoria's Police Commissioner up at night.

So the Ashes cricket is over with Australia triumphant 4-1 after a really strange series, played on a few dodgy wickets. Mitchell Starc and Travis Head were magnificent, but the rest of our batting was pretty ordinary and the England catching was dreadful. At the end I was left mystified by quite a few things, but mainly by the farewell speech delivered by Usman Khawaja at the fifth Test in Sydney. I only know the basics about Khawaja, that his parents had migrated from Pakistan to give their family a better life in Australia. On the surface their decision seemed an amazing success story, especially for Usman who became the first Muslim to play test cricket for us and who has retired to a $4m dollar mansion. I have no interest in Khawaja's religion. I have no idea who was the first Methodist to play for Australia, nor whether we've had a Buddhist in the batting lineup. Cricket and religion have nothing to do with each other. I hold the view – like most Australians – that religion is a personal connection between the person and his or her God. It's nobody elses business. Certainly not an issue for public discussion. Then I started to hear comments about Khawaja's farewell speech at the SCG... Vague hints of "racism", "racial stereotyping dogging him through his life here", and "being made to feel different". I was puzzled and started delving deeper into the conversation. I remain mystified. I see interviews with people like Steve Smith and past players like Jason Gillespie but find that they are just as mystified. I opt to spend the last two days of the Test, 48 hours, doing a forensic analysis of this mysterious problem. Somwhere there's the answer... Somewhere I can find what's really going on here. All I can find is some reference to being criticised unfairly for playing golf beore a Test Match. Er, not sure I'm seeing that as a huge issue... The first thing you notice when you start digging is the overwhelming affection for Usman, nick-named "Uzzy", from both within the dressing room and outside among the fans. Steve Smith says all the boys are going to miss him... They love this bloke. You can't make this up. Khawaja is accorded a special round of applause from the England team as he walks out on the final day. The respect is obvious. This is genuine. He hugs his family out on the ground at the end, as the fans cheer and celebrate his career. I'm not finding anything. Not a hint of some long-hidden bad blood festering away. Nothing to see. But I'm left with this really bad taste in the mouth... That somehow Australia has let Usman down... Somehow we haven't been there for him when it mattered. Trouble is I can't tell you what actually happened or when it happened. It's one of the enigmas of this last Ashes series.

The most ironic story of the month is that Donald Trump has invited Russia's Vladimir Putin to join the International Board of Peace which will oversee the Gaza ceasefire. You're right Dorothy. We are definitely not in Kansas anymore.

It's a funny old world really. Remember when the government built lots of public phones across the suburbs to make sure that residents had phone access nearby? Then along came the vandals. And authorities also started building seating and roofs at bus stops to protect travelers from the rain and sun. Then along came the vandals. In recent times we had computers, mobilephones and social media which allowed us immediate contact with friends, family and business right round the world. Then along came the vandals. They found a way of manipulating the technology to get into your private information, to raid your bank accounts, and we saw the rise of the "nasties", a sick group in the community who took great delight in destroying the lives of vulnerable social media users. We now have young school kids commiting suicide, after coming under psychological attack, often from school kids of the same age. Some years ago I watched four women bare their souls on British television after falling victim to online "love scams". They'd fallen victim to criminal gangs in Africa who preyed on the lonely. Australians lost over $23 million last year on romance/love scams and to show you what a strange world this has become there is a former NSW Detective, Kylee Dennis, who operates a company which will examine a client's online love interest and tell them whether the person they're talking to is genuine or a sneaky scam artist. Kylee's company, Two Face Investigations, will do a detailed background check on the person at the other end of the phone and tell you whether it's fair dinkum or if you're being had. Sign of the times folks... Sign of the times.
(Source: The Senior)

Around the Boree Log

So come you by your parted ways that wind the wide world through
and make a ring around the blaze the way we used to do...
Then stir it up and make it burn – the poker's next to you,
Come let us poke it all in turn,the way we used to do.

— John O'Brien (Patrick Hartigan) 1878-1952

We go into Xmas carrying the haunting images of the Bondi Beach massacre

2026-01-03T12:00:00+10:00

We go into Xmas carrying the haunting images of the Bondi Beach massacre and facing I think the most difficult decision the nation has had to make since John Curtin brought the troops back home over 70 years ago in WW2. But is our Government up to it? The only early indication I see is that Anthony Albanese actually used the word "antisemitism" this week without following it immediately with "Islamophobia", breaking a three-year trend (a fair bit of money changed hands in the Canberra Press Gallery after that I can tell ya). Here is where we are Australia. In the last 40-50 years thousands of immigrants – well tens of thousands really – have entered our country, making it clear that they absolutely hate us, that they intend doing all they can to undermine and demean our way of life, that they will publicly taunt us and deliberately confront us and that, in the end, they intend to overthrow our Government. We are, however, in a unique situation where we actually know who the enemy is. We know where they meet to peddle this vile anti-Western invective. We know the people who are preaching this unyielding hatred – nobody is hiding it – it's all there, easy to see. So here is the question for us to face Australia: what are we going to do about it?

There's something wrong with talking about the radio ratings on the same page as the tragedy at Bondi, but there we are... It's the nature of news, I guess. The AM Big Boy 2GB goes into the new year as the number one station overall, in breakfast and in mornings. Indeed, Mark Levy has had his best figures in the 9-12 zone since taking over from the legendary Hads. SMOOTH FM is still pretty strong in second spot, leading KIIS but the last survey of the year hasn't really given us any clear leads on where the industry is going.

It's 99 years since the "Great British Disappearance". It lasted just eleven days but held the UK, and indeed many parts of the world, spell bound. Police launched the biggest nationwide manhunt in history, thousands of volunteers searched fields and forests for hundreds of miles. A group of leading London businessmen even hired a European Psychic... But the mystery remained: The Queen of crime fiction, one of the most famous women on the planet, Agatha Christie, was not to be found. She had vanished from the face of the Earth. Mrs Christie had sped off in her car from her Berkshire home on the night of December 3, 1926, after a blazing row with husband, Col. Archie Christie, who'd told her he was seeking a divorce and going off to live with his lover. The hunt went into full swing after police found her car, crashed into a hedge, the motor still running and a packed suitcase left behind in the back seat. Special teams immediately started searching local rivers – not a good sign. Households across the UK were captivated, millions held their breath waiting on the latest update. The story was momentous. We're talking about Agatha Christie here, author of "Death on the Nile", "Murder on the Orient Express" and -– in later years – "The Mousetrap", the most celebrated whodunit in theatre history (it opened in 1952 and is still running in London today). For over a week the drama went on, intensifying each day, until the staff at the Hydropathic Hotel in Harrogate, Yorkshire, noticed that a South African visitor, who arrived eleven days earlier, looked remarkably like the famous missing writer. When police were called they too noticed something quite strange... The name of the mysterious South African hotel guest was listed as Theresa Neale, the same name as Col. Christie's lover. It was finally coming together just like a good detective novel should. Miss Neale actually turned out to be the most sought after person in the country, Agatha Christie. She moved immediately into her sister's home where she stayed behind closed doors, until heading off for a long holiday in the Caribbean. When she returned, Agatha Christie simply continued where she left off, only with a new husband. She resumed her famous writings and was interviewed hundreds and hundreds of times around the world – in the press, on radio and on TV – but never spoke of the incident again. To my knowledge no one even asked her about it. The Great Disappearance had simply disappeared.

A family member, a tradie, was recently talking to a supplier, just wondering how the year had been, only to learn that 2025 was "pretty ordinary", with sales down 8.5% for the twelve months. And this was general, right across the nation: business was extremely sluggish. This trade insider was really worried about the future, especially from 2030-35 on because all the trends were negative. These are his worries about the future. MOST BUSINESS IS BEING GENERATED BY THE GOVERNMENT. The private sector is going in the opposite direction. Most economists agree that we need a buoyant private sector to generate jobs out there at the coalface, especially in the small-business sector. And he argues that this process is insidious, you don't always realise it's happening. For example, in the case of our family tradie who works for a company which services major building firms mainly doing huge multi million dollar jobs. The insider pointed out that the majority these big jobs are coming from the Government at the moment so the companies doing the work are virtually Canberra or state employees which means the firms dependant on them, eg. our family tradie, are virtually on the Government payroll. These are technically private operators who are almost totally dependant on the taxpayer as well.

Also A LOT OF JOBS GROWTH IS NOW IN THE FEDERAL OR STATE PUBLIC SERVICE. Private industry isn't robust enough to need more employees. Many areas are lucky to be treading water. This is not a good trend. Ok, it's just a conversation between two blokes in the building industry but their concerns are general and echoed right across the country.

Got a hell of a shock recently when looking at our food bill to find that an apple cost us $1. That's for ONE APPLE! Our food prices are part of a national scam perpetrated by the supermarkets. We need to stop this in its tracks. Clearly our alleged Governments are incapable of doing so. Here's what we need to do Australia. Collar your local MP as soon as possible and tell them that you're giving them six months to sort the whole thing out. After six months you will expect to be getting three apples for $1 with similar reductions in all the food aisles. The message will be simple, to every MP, "If we're not getting apples for 30c each after six months we will be voting you out of office... Goodbye-ski. You'll find yourself out here with the rest of us looking for a real job."

I love our bizarre, strange sense of humour down-under. I was watching the test cricket in ADELAIDE recently when a cameraman fixed on to the England supporters... The Barmy Army was there chanting away and in the background there were four visitors from the old country decked out perfectly in the old Beatles gear, straight off the cover of one of the Fab Four's albums. There they were, lined up on TV – John, Paul, George and Ringo – and one of the Aussie commentators (it might have been Mark Waugh) takes a look and observes drily, "Oh, look at that... The Wiggles."

I AM AUSTRALIA

We are one but we are many,
And from all the lands of Earth we come,
I am, you are, we are Australian

The Seekers, 1995. (By Bruce Woodley and Dobe Newton)

It had to happen sooner or later

2025-11-27T12:00:00+10:00

Obviously, it had to happen sooner or later but that didn't stop the shock waves echoing through the industry when the newsflash arrived telling us that John Laws was dead. The King was dead. The last of the radio legends was dead. "Long John" had passed, after a 70-year career, at the age of 90. This ends a long line of iconic figures – Jack Davey, Allan Toohey, Tony Withers, John Harper and Bob Rogers – the Legends of radio, the likes of which will never be heard again.

John started off at 3BO, Bendigo in 1953 moving to Sydney ironically just before I headed off to join 3BO. I have this memory from way back... Was it fantasy or did it really happen?... Of standing in the dining room at Aunty Glad's in Enfield... It was just on 6PM... With the old Stromberg Carlson set on the mantelpiece permanently fixed on 2UE... When there was this ten-second orchestral riff, leading in to the Eydie Gorme hit, "Frenesi"... There was a slight pause and this voice, which I will remember forever, said, "Hello World... This is Long John," and Eydie then went into full vocal mode. I had only been in the business for a couple of years but knew instinctively that what I'd just heard was greatness. I would hear it for another seventy years. People in the business celebrate John Laws because he straddles the whole history, from the golden age of the 50's through the top-40 era and the subsequent domination of news-talk. Modern great Ray Hadley didn't mess around when he summed up the iconic career, calling him the "broadcaster of the century". He started out with, "Hello World. This is Long John," and said goodbye with, "And you be kind to each other." Old Golden Tonsils has left us..

We continue the summer ratings with 2GB holding the high ground in Sydney in the middle of more trade rumours that the 2GB-3AW national news-talk network is up for sale. Suitors being mentioned include Gina Rinehart and John Singleton. Even recently retired GB superstar Ray Hadley is said to be "interested".

I hope you're not reading this before heading off on a nice pleasant ferry cruise on Sydney Harbour, because the timing might not be ideal. We're going back to November 3, 1927 and the horrific Greycliffe disaster. The ferry had pulled out of the wharf for an afternoon sightseeing chug around the harbour with 120 passengers on board, including a large group of school children. All was going well until the ferry suddenly veered hard left, straight into the path of the bigger Mail Steamer, the "Tahiti". No one ever proved just what went wrong: the general view was a steering malfunction. The "Tahiti" sliced straight through the ferry. Many vessels raced to the scene to pick up survivors but the records will show that fourty people lost their lives that day... The worst disaster recorded on our harbour.

Developing News... Developing News... A former colleague rang me from Canberra on the 11/11, announcing that he was joining with a group in approaching the Governor General next week to see if she'd mind dismissing Anthony Albanese. (Never lose your sense of humour in politics... Ask Bill Hayden).

Now that the Libs have finally twigged that "Net Zero" is just a distant mirage could I offer leader, Sussan Ley, a little more advice on the political front? I'm hoping she might adopt a couple of these policies, not because they'll make her more electable but essentially because they're the right thing to do for Australia. The FIRST PROMISE is that a LNP Government will cut energy costs by 50% in its first term. For everyone – domestic users, small business, major industries, the lot. This will dramatically energise the whole country, lifting productivity virtually overnight. Just open the natural gas valves and keep it coming until a better option comes along. (There'll be some short-term pain, especially in the inner-suburbs.) Don't worry about offending Greta Thunberg. She can head off and save the walrus. Our next ITEM OF BUSINESS is the announcement that the supermarkets will cut food costs 25%... Just a couple of phone calls from Canberra and supermarket giants will know that the picnic is over: time for them to take one for the team. IN PARALLEL shopping centres will cut lease charges by 30%. Have you ever spoken to the local cafe owner about the amount they pay in rent? Got to end. Bill and Jenny will immediately open that little cafe they've been thinking about, employing up to six extra staff. You can multiply this thousands of times across the nation. Small business is where impact is immediate... You want an economic bounce-back? Cut costs for small business... Then sit back and watch the nation grow. The only PS I have for Sussan Ley is that she'll probably need to get to know Pauline Hanson really well... I have a feeling the next Coalition government will include an extra party.

A nine-year-old girl is walking through a massive, multi-storey shopping centre with her grandfather. She suddenly stops, turns around and says, "Why are all these shops for ladies?"

Michael Atkinson was raised by a family that loved its fishing and camping so it wasn't unusual, when he finished his career as a fighter pilot, that he went back to his original love, the Aussie outback, as a high-profile adventurer/bushman.

"Our house backed on to the bushland and I spent all my time out in the bush... I love the romance of being out there... The Australian bush should be returned to its pre-European health. There's also the importance of humans being connected to the bush, because if they're connected and involved in it, they will look after it. We're less happy as a society if we don't get outdoors."

Michael Atkinson talking to the NRMA's "Open Road".

STOOPING TO DRINK.

"Smelling the sweet grass of distant hills, too steep to climb, too far to see
in this handful of water,scooped from the river dam.
Touching the sky where like a single wing my hand dips through clouds
tasting the shadow of basket willows the colour of ferns...
Sunlight, sweet grass flavours and the long held breath of children—a landscape mirrored, held a moment and let go again."

By poet/novelist David Malouf 1934-.

You can't trust those old timers

2025-10-24T12:00:00+10:00

You can't trust those old timers: just when you think they're dead and buried you find out that they've actually been hiding behind a rock waiting to pounce. That's what the Grandaddy of AM, 2GB, has just done to the FM challengers in the latest Sydney survey. And this isn't an isolated trend with another powerful NewsTalk outlet, 3AW, having a bolter in the Melbourne market. GB – after a couple of second placings – got back into top gear, winning overall with a rise of 2.8% and with Ben Fordham regaining Breakfast and Mark Levy repeating the dose in the Morning slot. That old smoothie, Smooth FM, is second overall and number one in the FM arena while Jackie O and Kyle have dipped 1.7, to surrender Breakfast to the consistent Mr Fordham. Not sure where this is going over summer, but we can say rumours of the death of AM have been grossly exaggerated.

A bizarre political drama has been played out across Australia for nearly six months as the Coalition adjusts to a devastating loss to Labour at the last Federal election. Bizarre? Because the Liberal Party seems to have gone into a sort of induced political coma since it voted in Sussan Ley as its new leader. At a time when the opposition is desperate for a path forward, Sussan has gone into a slow death march. Apparently there's going to be a miraculous moment – hopefully soon – when the Leader will emerge with the answers to everything. Sussan just can't give us a hint as to when this'll happen. High profile Libs like Andrew Hastie have given up waiting... He's left the front bench to pursue his battle to win back the voters. Nationals strong man, Matt Canavan, speaks out publically on the major issues but he's not a Liberal... He's from the other side of the partnership... That's if it's still a partnership? I'd love to get trapped in a lift with Sussan for half an hour so I could explain to her just what's going on in Terre Australis... Things are urgent, Miss Ley. You need to act now... This afternoon... Or you might find yourself and your party prancing around in political obscurity for the next twenty-five years. No time for the results of the latest focus group reports from Kew and Strathfield. Time to roll up the sleeves and get stuck into the regeneration of the Liberal Party. There are three key policies you need to enunciate in SIMPLE, DIRECT language:

1. Immigration. Tell the electorate that from the moment you become Prime Minister you will cut immigration to the bare minimum, pending a major overhaul. Millions of Australians hate what's happening to our country but don't say this publically fearing the ruling elite will release their attack dogs. (Anyone remember the Voice referendum?) People will tell you over and over again that all they want are migrants who are decent, ready to work and willing to love and treasure our "sunburnt country".

2. Energy. Can somebody just stand up and say that this current climate change transition isn't going to make it. That solar panel on your roof will have to be replaced in about a dozen years. Those huge whirling wind turbines are not going to last much longer... You're going to have to replace them as well. We have to find a better, more reliable option. At the moment it looks to me as if we should be producing all the gas we can harvest... For ourselves and for the rest of the world... Especially Europe. Somebody in this country has to have the guts to stand up and spell out the reality of the next fifty years.

3. And please, Sussan, tell us how we're going to pay off the interest bill as Anthony borrows more and more money to pay for all these pay rises and increases in welfare. Promise voters that a Coalition Government will stop borrowing and start living within the country's means.

Ok... Ok... You can't hide forever... Sooner or later you just have to man-up and address the controversial issues of the time... In this case the question of the high profile entertainment at the AFL Grand Final... US Rapper superstar SNOOP DOGG. I initially apologise to the AFL and to Mr Dogg's millions of devoted follows around the world, but it was dreadful... DREADFUL! Call it like it is, right? The thing that has stunned me is the reaction from the footy world and from all the commentators and experts that surround it... It was a "blockbuster"... One of the best known commentators in the trade observed that it was "fitting" to have such a prestigious international act at one of our greatest sporting events. "Fitting?"... Sorry, what did it fit? Just shows you how far I am out of touch folks... Lost deep in a time far far away. The only personality who offered me some hope was the Melbourne great/AFL legend and Fox Footy star, GARY LYON, who when asked what he thought about Snoop Dogg's show, sort of rolled his eyes a couple of times and then looked away from the camera as he observed that it really "wasn't his sort of music". 'Nuff said, Gazza... I'm with you mate.

Here I am – with my afternoon cuppa – wandering through a back copy of one of my favourite magazines, The Senior. Obviously, in my late-80's, I'm a sitting duck for this publication but the truth is that such is its level of quality that readers in their 20's and 30's will find it equally interesting. Take the story of film documentary maker Dan Thomas and his in-depth research into the memories people treasured in their golden years, as they reflected back on their lives. No mention here of the three story mansion overlooking Bondi Beach... No mention of the Maserati parked in the garage or the annual trip to Aspen... 80% of Golden Oldies report the things that make their lives truly happy and worthwhile are LOVE and CONNECTIONS. Time after time they underline connections with family, friends, local clubs... Having a clear purpose for getting up in the morning either through work, looking after the grandkids, a hobby or giving back to the community. People regret the words not said and the dreams not pursued. Friendship, laughter and having a reason to go on... That's the stuff that'll get you through.

I still tap out the occasional Letter to the Editor, with little success but thought I'd show you my latest effort which may raise a smile. "The nation salutes Dan ANDREWS, 'the greatest Premier in Victorian History', praising his A-Lister invitation to the recent Beijing Great Military Parade, where he stood side-by-side with some of the planet's leading war lords. Late mail even suggested Genghis Khan might ride in to join him on the red carpet but apparently somebody wrote on Chinese social media that they'd heard Genghis might be dead. We wonder now will Glasgow bestow a similar honour on Dan The Man, inviting him along to the 2026 Commonwealth Games. Heck, he could even carry his beloved Australian Flag in the Opening Ceremony."

I'm writing this as the biggest manhunt ever mounted in Australia continues in Victoria's High Country, searching for the Porepunkah Killer. The gunman – a "Sovereign Citizen" who rejects all authority – ambushed and shot dead two police officers in the tiny, out-of-the way town of Porepunkah. He is armed, obviously willing to kill, and a highly-skilled bushmen/survivalist who locals say could easily evade capture in the thick forest country for years. This is not the first massive search in the High Country: we've been here before, nearly 150 years ago, when police rode through the forest lands in search for the infamous Kelly Gang, led by brothers Ned and Dan Kelly. The two sides finally met head on in the Wombat Ranges in what has entered history as the Shoot-out at Stringybark Creek. When it was over on October 26, 1878 the gang had killed three out of four officers who were on patrol in the areas... A gunfight that just added to all the folk stories and myths of bushrangers in the Colonial area. You can actually visit the historical reserve, just out of Benalla and Mansfield, and retrace the steps of the Gang.

The alarm was raised when the fourth officer managed to escape the bullets, grab a spare horse and ride off for his life to sound the alert.

This is remembered in the poem, Stringybark Creek,by John Manifold.

"Late one October afternoon when rain was in the sky,
A horseman shouting witless words came belting madly by,
Straight from Benalla town he rode, and shouted as he came,
But no one recognised the horse or knew the rider's name
But silence fell on all the farms as down the road they flew,
The horse that no one recognised, the man that no one knew".

– John Manifold, 1941

The FM'rs are ganging up on 2GB

2025-09-19T12:00:00+10:00

The FM'rs are ganging up on 2GB with the News-Talk giant still trailing Easy Listening's Smooth FM overall as well as in the critical morning spot in the Sydney radio market. Mark Levy had lost a little further ground and finds himself fractionally behind in 9-12. Added to that, Kyle and Jackie O have launched a frontal assault on Ben Fordham to sneak breakfast by around a point. Actually, it's all very marginal really with GB only 0.4 adrift in the overalls. These guys are going to be fighting it out right to the end of '25 with the big advertising dollars up for grabs.

Such bad news to hear of the passing of another iconic figure, not in radio but someone who had a massive impact on the industry for over fifty years. Col Joye has left us at the age of 89, one of the pillars of Aussie rock-n-roll, dating back to the 50s. When you think back to those exciting days you recall Col and the Joy Boys on JOK's 6 O'Çlock Rock and Hendo's beloved Bandstand. And how about those terrific tracks which still stand up so well today... Bye Bye Baby and Oh Yeah Uh Huh, both in 1959. Uh Huh was the first local product to go number one on our Top 40. And there's nothing wrong with that other Col Joye classic, Heaven is a Woman's Love, either. You truly were a mover and shaker man... We'll all miss you.

(Spot the Legends)

This month marks nearly fifty years since one of the most notorious incidents of the Cold War, the Markov assassination in London. Georgi Markov was a Bulgarian dissident who escaped to the UK and became a thorn in the side of the Communist regimes of the era, with his caustic comments on BBC and Radio Free Europe. The KGB got together with the Bulgarian Secret Police and came up with one of the most nefarious plots you've ever heard of. This plan was straight out of Sherlock Holmes or 007. On the 7th of September, 1978 Markov was walking across Waterloo Bridge in London when he felt a sharp stab in the thigh. He looked around to see a man picking up an umbrella and walking off in the opposite direction. The umbrella point was laced with the deadly poison, Ricin. The victim died in hospital a few days later starting a long KGB tradition of chasing their opponents wherever they were in the world. No place is safe to hide from the KGB, not even today. There is a string of appalling examples, which started with the poison-tipped umbrella and includes the poisoned teacup, the poisoned door knob and even – the most grotesque variation you can imagine – the poisoned underpants. I was a bit worried about Donald Trump when he hosted Vladimir the Great in Alaska recently. I wouldn't even trust the Ruskies at a US Airbase... Seriously. Nothing is sacred with that lot.

I've had to go back into intense therapy this month after confirmation that one of those weird governments in Scandinavia had just introduced a "flatulence tax" on farmers because their cattle were apparently responsible for producing too much wind, thus worsening climate change. (For God's sake, don't let the Australian Greens find out about this... They'll go completely off the reservation.) But I'm screaming out to these boofheads to leave the poor cows along. They've been farting for thousands of years and have never done an ounce of harm to anybody. If you really want to effect a major environmental change, send a team of scientists over here and do something about me. I'm your problem... You control my flatulence and you'll solve climate change virtually overnight.

It's funny isn't it that it's not necessarily the big, monumental events that trigger our memories: It's often the little things that turn out to be the echoes of your history... The smell of wheat... You're driving past a park in late Autumn and you hear the sound of the ball on a cricket bat... You're having coffee down at the local cafe and you hear Col Joye singing Bye Bye Baby in the background and all those moments of 40-50 years ago come flooding back. You're into classical nostalgia. I was sitting in the lounge room recently, on a cold winter Friday night and my mind drifted back to Melbourne in the 60s and 70s where I suffered through a few cold, wintry nights. Anyway, what bobbed up? Well... The over-riding memory of that era in Melbourne? Channel 7's Kevin Dennis Footy Show... Yep, everybody was thinking about the weekend coming up and tuned into the Footy Show on Fridays to get the inside goss. Let me first of all lay the groundwork here for non-believers. In Victoria, Tassie, South Australia and WA, footy is everything! Everything! And so my main memory, the thing that symbolises the era, is putting the TV on 7 on Friday night and settling down to the beloved Footy Show. I've been trying desperately to remember the lyrics of the show's theme... The music is easy to recall... But I need a little help with the words.

The best I can do at the moment is:
"Kevin Dennis, Kevin Dennis, how we love your Footy Show.
Kevin Dennis, Kevin Dennis, tell us how our team will go."
Am I close? Help please...

One bit of history I'm a lot more certain about is that on September 5, 1908 the Spectator newspaper in London published one of the most iconic pieces of Australiana, something that came to define our country. Dorothy Mackellar was a 19 year-old Aussie country girl, touring Britain, when she succumbed to overwhelming homesickness and wrote the classic My Country (Core of My Heart) to try to explain to the Brits her yearning to return to the "sunburnt country", to her beloved bushland, downunder.

"An opal-hearted country, a willful, lavish land,
All you who have not loved her,you will not understand-
Though Earth holds many splendours, wherever I may die.
I know to what brown country my homing thoughts will fly."

– My Country by Dorothy Mackellar. Written in 1905, first published 1908.

Forget all of those predictions of 2025 being a quiet year in RadioLand

2025-08-08T12:00:00+10:00

Forget all of those predictions of 2025 being a quiet year in RadioLand with the AM King, 2GB, holding off the FM challenge. I'm afraid the horse has already bolted with SMOOTH FM, the quiet assassin, taking over the number one spot overall... 12.3% to GB's 11.6. And this is not a trend peculiar to Sydney with Melbourne's 3AW being toppled in the southern capital this survey. FM continues to pick up audience share, most interestingly in the 55+ and 65+ demographics. GB's Ben Fordham is still the one to beat in breakfast, ahead of KIIS but it's close – 14.7 to 13.9 – While Mark Levy has surrendered to SMOOTH in mornings, again in a close run contest... 13.7 to 13.0. The industry will be looking very closely at survey five and what trade insiders and the number crunchers will be looking at is whether this is just another episode of the snakes-and-ladders game betwen AM and FM or if we are seeing something more permanent, perhaps the handing over of the baton to FM, ending a long 2GB dynasty?

King Island is out there, in wind-swept Bass Strait, off the Tasmanian coast, famous these days for two of the best golf courses on the planet, including Cape Wickham, the number one rated course in Australia. If you happen to be over there on August the 4th I wonder if you'd do me a favour and make your way across to the west coast to join a group of locals who'll be gathering at the Cataraqui Memorial for the 180th anniversary of the worst civilian maritime disaster in Australia? The vessel was on the last leg of its voyage to Melbourne in 1845, carrying 369 passengers and 41 crew, when it ran into a massive Bass Strait storm, driven straight into the Island. Many were drowned in the first hour, while the others were ripped to pieces on the rocks trying to make it ashore. The death toll was 399, most of them women and children sailing to Australia to start a new life here. They were almost within sight of their final port when their world fell apart. You may not know of this tragedy, certainly your children would have never heard of it. We don't mention this stuff in our schools. But it might be nice on August 4 if those of us who actually do care about the Great South Land just pause for a minute to remember the hundreds who died this day, all those years ago, smashed into the wild west coast of King Island.

Australian golf continues to prosper in 2025 with Sydney's Grace Kim winning her first major at Evian, her second victory on the LPGA tour. Four Aussie wins so far on the main tours.

Time to salute a couple of famous Australian lines I remember from back in the 40's. "Don't come the raw prawn with me" and "Stone the Crows". The first line is straight out of the Mo McCackie handbook of humour, meaning, "you don't expect me to believe that one do you?" or, "Go on, now pull the other leg." Mo played the classical Aussie mug lair in the beloved McCackie Mansion series dating back to 2GB in the mid-40's. "Stone the crows/flamin'crows" is an Aussie cry of amazement, made famous in the radio classic "Dad and Dave" from Snake Gully, 1937 to 1953. You can still listen to it today on nostalgic radio outlets.

I have this recurring nightmare where we're getting on to an international airliner and the voice on the PA announces that there'll be no crew in the plane today: instead we'll be piloted by a bank of computers, assisted by AI. And the voice will then add that we won't be using conventional fuel... The airliner is being powered by batteries... LITHIUM batteries! At this point 360 passengers jump out of their seats, racing for the exit screaming, "Let Me Outta here."

Just put our garbage bins out, the red, yellow and now the green one: nobody warned me that one day I'd have to do a Masters in Environmental Science just to take the bins out to the front.

You have to salute a brilliant one-liner, delivered completely out of the blue, in everyday life. We were crossing a busy road, near a suburban police station, heading over to a medical appointment. I was on my walker, not moving with a lot of speed, and got half way, when I realised I wasn't going to make it past a stream of hostile traffic heading my way from the left. A man and a woman who had just crossed over ahead of us realised I was in trouble and walked straight out on to the road, held up all the cars until we got across to safety. I looked up at them and said, "That was so impressive... I think we'd better make you both honorary Police Officers." The lady smiled and said softly, "We are police officers". They were two detectives heading back to the police station after lunch... Brilliant.

OTHELLO by Shakespeare.

"Put out the light and then put out the light.
If I quench thee thou flaming minister I can again thy former light restore".

One of the Bard's most memorable scenes as Othello murders his wife Desdemona, having been convinced, falsely, by the evil Iago that she was unfaithful. Your reporter was in High School when he saw the visiting Stratford Touring Company play. I'm sure it was at the old Tivoli with Anthony Quayle, Barbara Jefford and Leo McKern. It had the most dramatic impact on Yours Truly.

2GB is a bit like an aircraft carrier...

2025-06-28T12:00:00+10:00

2GB is a bit like an aircraft carrier... Once she picks up a head of steam she's a bit hard to stop. Just keeps ploughing on, through thick and thin, winter and summer. And the AM superstar continues on her merry way this latest survey, holding at 13.6, number one overall, ahead of SMOOTH-FM. Ben Fordham and Mark Levy rule the seas this survey, both number one. Kyle and Jackie O are still the big hitters on FM breakfast.

We're meandering off the beaten track this month to pay tribute to one of our military giants – Sir Thomas Blamey. Actually the life of Blamey is pretty much the story of the Australian military in the 20th century. He became a soldier in 1906 and fought in Gallipoli and the Western Front in the Great War of 1914 to 1918. Blamey then fought in the Middle East in World War 2 before returning to Australia as Commander-in-Chief of Allied Land Forces in the Asia Pacific Theatre under Douglas MacArthur (pictured). Blamey personally took over command in the Battle of the Kokoda Track in PNG where the exploits of the Australian soldiers became the stuff of legend. Sir Thomas Blamey stood alongside MacArthuir on board the "Misssouri" to witness the Japanese surrender in 1945. On June the 8th, 1950 Buckingham Palace elevated him to the rank of Field Marshall – the only Australian to achieve this military honour. He is buried at the Fawkner Memorial Park Cemetary in Melbourne. There is a little known connection Blamey has with my trade, radio. In 1938-1939 he was the International Affairs commentator known as "Sentinel" on Melbourne's radio 3UZ.

One of the great joys for researchers and historians is to listen to or read the memories of those who have actually lived through significant moments in history. It's one thing to read a text book, but another to understand what it was really like for the men and women who had to deal with things out there at the coal face. Partner Darleen was going through some family memorabilia recently when she found an old, yellowed piece of paper dated 24 June, 1983. It was a question-and-answer record by her father Charles Stone, about the Great Depression. It seems that a student, probably a grandchild, was working on a school project about the financial disaster of the 1920's and 1930's and found out that "Pop" had been right in the thick of it. What better interview subject than Charles Stone, who managed to make it through the Great Depression and then found himself a decorated Aussie soldier in the 2nd World War which followed immediately? The following is a summary of the original Q & A.

Q1. What does a depression mean to you?
A. Economic recession. Shortage of Federal Funds. Poverty for the working family man.

Q2. What was your lifestyle in those hard days?
A. Travelling Australia looking for work while carrying a swag and riding trains without a ticket. Asking for food at farms and shops.

Q3. The effects the depression had on you?
A. Learnt to fend for myself. Learnt to share hardships and pleasures with thousands of others.

Q4. What caused the Depression?
A. After effects of WW 1. Added costs and responsibility of Government due to the War. Effects of New York Stock Exchange (Wall Street) crash.

Q5. What was the worst year?
A. 1933... Men put off work. Banks closed. 3-day working week, called "relief work", to help the unemployed.

Q6. What were some of the worst struggles you had to endure?
A. Had to leave school at 14 to work on farms. Food very scarce, clothing hard to come by.

Q7. Do you think Australia coped well with the Depression?
A. Yes, considering the state the world was in. No work... No money.

Q8. What helped Australia recover?
A: World War 2, when money was found immediately for the Army, Navy and Air Force.

Q9. What were your experiences overall?
A. We had both good and bad times. It would be a very long story to tell so if you don't mind I won't attempt it now.

Memories of the Great Depression by Charles Henry Stone(1915 to 1992).

Hang on to your family history if you can. These rare, first person accounts of great events are priceless.

A bit of great golfing news for fans Downunder with Minjee Lee scoring her first win on the LPGA in eighteen months, taking out the PGA title on the US Tour, a Major if you don't mind taking her total to three of the Big Ones. I followed her final round as she toughed it out in difficult conditions. Gee, I even watched her win with the dreadful Long Putter. How's that for devotion? Oh, and I'm also raising the obvious question... How many times have a brother and sister won on the PGA and LPGA Tours in the same season? (Ed's note: The Aussie s are the third apparently.)

We'll take another detour at this point to pay tribute to two of the most momentous events of the twentieth century which surely changed the course of civilisation (oops, I think I see some ironic humour creeping in here people)... Bth occurring in July. 1st July, 1941 saw the world's first TV commercial aired on WNBT, New York – yes this is the level we've descended to this month! It cost Bulova $9.00 for a 10-second spot in the basketball coverage, enough time to assure audiences that, "America runs on Bulova time."

Another July highlight was on the 16 July, 1935 when the world's first parking meters were installed in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. It cost motorists five cents for a hour downtown and you can thank local Newspaper Editor Carl C. Magee for that piece of history, who campaigned for months for something to be done about the parking problems in the City. There are quite a few people in 2025 who'd like to get their hands on that rooster, I can give you the drum.

One of the most hated phrases in recent memory – reviled by just about everybody – was that dreaded PR line, "Have a Nice Day"... Reviled because we all knew the person saying it didn't care whether we had a nice day or an absolute shocker. These talking heads couldn't care less. Now there's a chance that a new phrase is emerging to challenge "Nice Day" in the most-hated category. Tell me if this rings a bell: "We value your call"? Sure... Of course you do! You get a little suspicious when you hear this once every 30-seconds while you're on hold for 45 minutes.

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT.
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light"
–Dylan Thomas (1915-1953)

2025 is heading for another monumental stoush between AM and FM

2025-06-01T12:00:00+10:00

2025 is heading for another monumental stoush between AM and FM in the Sydney radio market, with the old soldier, 2GB, still firing off a few shots to retain the number one spot overall – holding off SMOOTH and KIIS FM. Ben Fordham and Mark Levy continued to dominate the 5 to noon slots which they're going to have to do, big time, given the overheads GB will be carrying to mount NEWS-TALK-SPORT. Both of the Morning Talkers had good increases in survey two.

SMOOTH has to be a shareholder's delight... Comparatively low costs: just excellent music with the odd bit of Information. KIIS – a bit more expensive – racked up another Breakfast FM number one for Kyle and Jackie O as we all settle down to see how this lot sorts themselves out for the next 6 months.

As predicted by everybody, including the drover's dog, PM Anthony smoked the Libs well and truly in the May election. I know I predicted an ALP minority government in the last post but actually adjusted that about a week later to make it Labor running the show on its own... The ALP with a majority. I amended my forecast after watching both men out on the hustings. Albanese was walking around as if he owned the show... Laughing, doing one-liners, shaking hands, kissing babies... Like, as if it was in his DNA. Then there was Peter Dutton, at a sausage sizzle I think, standing like a wooden totem pole, trying desperately to smile and not really making it. OMG, it was awful. It wasn't only the sausages being sizzled that day... Anthony was doing a big number on Peter and the Coalition was heading for an overwhelming loss. There are two things to look for in a political campaign: content and presentation. It's a bit like radio really. The Coalition content was weird. Why were the Lib-Nats suddenly campaigning about nuclear energy which is at least fifty years away in Australia? Why not just get out and tell Australians the absolute truth? WE NEED TO PUMP OUT OUR NATURAL GAS RESERVES immediately. These turbines and solar panels are just transitional. GAS is going to be critical for Australia and the world 'til 2070... Minimum. Why aren't we saying that a Coalition government will set up a major investigation into the whole energy sector with nuclear well and truly on the table? We can't do it now... Get out there and have a lash at the cost of living. The Libs already have a key policy. You need Dutton ploughing into this everyday. A COALITION GOVERNMENT WILL IMMEDIATELY CUT YOUR PETROL BILL BY 25c A LITRE, dropping the excise. From day one. How about that to ease your cost of living? 25 cents cheaper for everyone including the dads driving to work every day and the mums shelling out hard dollars on the school run. What about all of the vehicles transporting goods across the nation? And we'll do it for at least the next 12 months... That's a promise with an automatic review built-in after the first year. Not just a saving for your fuel but a saving for the trucks that carry your bread and butter to the local supermarket. The family's cost of living attacked on two fronts. PRESENTATION is a difficult area because the stuff we're saying is personal. Insiders tell me that Peter Dutton is a really good bloke and would have made an excellent PM. But, as they say in television, "the camera just didn't love him." He looked awkward in public and there wasn't a lot that could be done about that. In the end he just couldn't sizzle sausages like Anthony.

I've spent a while in recent times bemoaning the surrender of the US Democrats after the Trump triumph. Where are they taking on Donald in his first 100 days? Where, for example, is Kamala Harris, the Presidential candidate, once VP? Why isn't she out there having a go at Trump? Why haven't we seen her in the public arena? Recently I found out that she was making this long-awaited public return so I tuned-in: at last a leading Democrat was getting up and about. I turned on the television and Kamala walked on to centre stage and immediately started giggling... She waved and started laughing...Then she broke into a series of giggles again... I think she was saying something but it was difficult to make it out. It was minutes of bizarre giggling... I switched channels. All my questions had been answered.

The nation has just gone through another massive disaster with flooding down the East coast. We don't just lose a few houses in Australia... We lose whole towns. And once again it'll be the same old story...People just won't be able to afford insurance premiums. Insurance companies will be hard pressed to make pay-outs. Only answer: federal and state governments set up a disaster insurance system which will underwrite premiums. You can't afford the premium in a disaster zone? The nation will step in and make up the difference. Anything to stop the rising tide of uninsured residents and business. We need an insurer of last resort, difficult as that will be to legislate.

I just love running into little tidbits of history when you least expect it. I was enjoying a recent Australian Golf Digest offering about the 75th anniversary of the much admired Sydney private golf club, the majestic Castle Hill Country Club... 68 hectares dating back to 1950 as a 9-hole course to its current status as a premier championship venue. Then the revelation that the land was once owned by one of the greatest figures of early colonial times, John Macarthur. This is the man who started our Merino wool industry establishing the country that rode on the sheep's back. And the same man who conspired against Governor William Bligh in the infamous Rum Rebellion of 1808. So Castle Hill members, when you get your fairway wood out to have a crack at the green on Saturday just remember: you're in John Macarthur territory... Tou're walking through a piece of our history.

One of my all time favourite lines from the old days was, "I'll come down on ya like a ton of bricks," a warning that you'll be punished for doing the wrong thing. It goes back to the New York Atlas, 1872, and the Otago Daily Times in 1873, but was very big here in Australia for one hundred years or so. I beg you never pronounce it "tonne". For that, much thanks.

THE TREE OF MAN.

"Souls unite in the face of violence, if only on the common ground of frailty.
Two people do not lose themselves at the identical moment,or else they might find each other.
It is not as simple as that.
So that in the end,there was no end".

Written by Patrick White, 1955. White (pictured below) is the only Australian to be awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature (1973).

So here we go into 2025

2025-04-11T12:00:00+10:00

So here we go into 2025 – and a new radio year – with 2GB entering another era for the first time minus their two superstars, Alan Jones and Ray Hadley. Will the place survive in the long term without them? Will Ben Fordham and Mark Levy eventually become major stars in their own right, or will the great old lady of Sydney broadcasting continue its success on the strength of its programming – The News/Talk-Sport format? This is an intriguing time in the trade. Well, survey one shows the old girl still hanging on up the top... Only just, as number one overall ahead of those pesky FM challengers, Smooth and KIIS. Breakfast and mornings continue to lead the way so all is well in 2GB land at the start of the year. Kyle and Jackie O who have apparently been quite naughty lately (and been given a good rap over the knuckles for their trouble) have been forgiven by their audience who keep rating them number one breakfast on FM.

A final salute this month to one of the household-names in our industry, especially in Melbourne, with the death of Philip Brady at the age of 84. He was the channel nine booth announcer while still a teenager and a regular on King Kennedy's In Melbourne Tonight, just a short time later. Nobody on IMT remained unknown for long... Trust me. It was a big gig in those days. Phillip remained high-profile in the trade 'til his retirement just a month or so back. That included a celebrated decade on 3AW with Bruce Mansfield, a phenomenal talent I worked with at 3XY. Both gone now.

Looking at my latest Weekend Australian and there was this monumental story, by Simon Benson, tucked away on page five, which confirms that our nation has entered a new era. This is THE AGE OF WOE, summed up by the headline, "The Great Australian Malaise: Fear, Despair and Resentment". This focus-group study is enough to send shudders through the political establishment. The 18 to 28-year-old group has basically given up on the great Australian dream. The Lucky Country has gone south with the ducks, "They are the first generation in modern history to grow up with the expectation that they will be poorer than their parents... The dream of home ownership, once a basic milestone of adulthood, has become so distant that it is no longer an aspiration... They do not talk about when they will buy a home but how they will be able to afford rent... The resentment is palpable." Imagine how older Australians feel as they watch their children try to find somewhere to live... "Optimism is absent" right across the spectrum... In just a remarkably few years hope has virtually evaporated for the under-35s. Is this our new Australia then, a land where millions of young people walk up and down the street looking at houses than can never buy?

We're heading into a federal election – have you noticed? – and your reporter is reading the tea leaves, especially those that say cost-of-living. Truly, I thought Labor would have massive problems at this stage, amid all of the wide-ranging wage increases. But Anthony looks to have got it right... He may have the last laugh over all the doubters: they really may defy the experts and be heading for a soft landing. The inflation figures are edging down, as per the Government predictions. The other critical issue this time 'round is the performance of the Greens and the Teals (hereafter affectionately titled "The Greals"). Will their inner-city devotees stick with the message and accept their assurances that they have the answer to the world's energy needs?

On the other side of the world Donald Trump has either gone stark raving mad or turned American politics upside down... Possibly both. The new Pres' is promising to make Canada a US State, to take over Greenland, sacking thousands of Government workers – including Justice and the FBI – and now looking to throw the Palestinians out of Gaza and turn it into as Mediterranean holiday resort. The Donald is a walking headline while his opponents, the defeated Democrats, are low-key and virtually leaderless. I'm a long away away I know but the most obvious question is: Where is Kamala Harris? She was Vice President just a short time ago and a very visible campaigner as the Democratic choice for President. I can't find Kamala anywhere. I mean if she wants to have another go at it why isn't she out front, taking Trump on directly in the public arena. Has Kamala been give the word that she's not going to be the party choice for the next Presidential battle? Even so, wouldn't you be out there anyway, slugging it out with Trump? Imagine the free hits she'd get these days after the Ukraine White House disaster.

I don't know where this came from, maybe it's the weather, but I suddenly asked myself this afternoon, "What happened to Rinso and Persil?" No home was complete without them when I was a lad but they seem to have left us. Persil apparently is still sold in the UK while if you're keen on doing a bit of washing in Asia and the Middle East you could probably still pick up a pack of Rinso down at your local store. Hope that proves useful and while we're doing nostalgia does anybody remember this famous old one-liner, "Put that in your pipe and smoke it"? It sounds so Australian but sorry, no it's an import. Charles Dickens made reference to it in his "Pickwick Papers" of 1836, but I've tracked it back to an Irish publication in 1800 where the writer advises his reader to "put that in your pipe and shmoak it".

Just a few week's ago we were watching one of the iconic world sports events – The Australian Open Tennis in Melbourne – but just over the road another famous piece of sporting history is disappearing... And disappearing rapidly. The Australian Open Golf title is one of the fourth oldest mens' titles in the world, behind The Open, the US Open and the South African championship. The Australian and the Canadian both started in 1904. The Australian has been won by some of the greatest names in Golf – they used to call it "the fifth Major". Have a look at some of the people who've held the trophy: Gene Sarazen, Jack Nicklaus, Gary Player, Arnie Palmer, Greg Norman, Peter Thompson, Tom Watson, Rory McIlroy. Now, the truth is Australia is battling to keep it afloat. The Australian Open is vanishing from the world scene before our very eyes and somebody has to save it. This is bigger than Australia; this title is part of the fabric of the game. We need the Royal and Ancient and the US PGA Tour to start talking to Australian officials, inluding our government, to bring us back to our rightful place in sport. The only way is to do what they did with the Canadia... Put the Australian on to the US Tour schedule. Of course it'll be tough especially dealing with the Americans who aren't really interested in the rest of the World. Actually it's going to be really hard to convince the Americans (Brett Ogle, a two-time winner on the US Tour recently described the situation to Golf Digest, "They're earning a truck load of cash and don't give a stuff about anybody else. They just care for themselves.") So don't expect any favours over there. But we can't just roll over and die. Everyone has to roll the sleeves up and work it out. I say the start would be to delay the US West Coast leg of the PGA tour and fit Australia in after the two opening tournaments in Hawaii. Sneak us into the tour after the Sentry and the Sony. It's a 9 to 10-hour flight from Hawaii to Australia (a lot more amenable to the US Players and their families) and we would have to underwrite the agreement by laying on a couple of free flights from Honolulu to Australia. Even a couple of freebie flights back home to LA if necessary. Anything to save the 121 year-old Australian Open golf title. The other bad but realistic news is that the prize money would have to be big... Very big. It all depends on one thing... Have we got what it takes to get back to playing with the big boys? Our Open needs to be restored to its proper place in the golfing firmament: it needs to be beamed around the world... To the US, Europe, South Korea, Japan and China... Everywhere.

Late golf update... Australia has kicked off the new season in sensational style. First one of the most talked-about young players in recent years, Karl Vilips, has triumphed in the Puerto Rico Open in his fourth start on the US Tour. Then, just a short time later in comes Min Woo Lee to grab the Houston Open ahead of a couple of superstars in Scottie Scheffler and Rory McIlroy. It's only April and Australia already has two winners on the biggest tour in the world.

Along the Road to Gundagai

"There's a track winding back to an old fashioned shack along the road to Gundagai, Where the blue gums are growing and the Murrumbidgee's flowing beneath the sunny sky... Then no more will I roam when I'm heading right for home along the road to Gundagai."

Jack O'Hagan, 1922

We go into another radio year with a monumental change

2025-02-05T12:00:00+10:00

We go into another radio year with a monumental change: for the first time in over half a century there's no John Laws or Ray Hadley on air, both having retired from the business. This marks a huge adjustment for the broadcasting landscape of the Harbour City.

It also means that the News-Talk giant 2GB has to manage its second major on-air crisis in recent years... First the loss of Alan Jones in breakfast and now losing Ray Hadley in mornings. There's a bit of a theory in our industry that Ray was actually the mortar that held the place together... Always there, always reliable and always number one in his critical time-zone. Now over the next 11 to 12 months we get to test that theory. And we also get to find out about another issue that has bedevilled programmers for many, many years... If you do News Talk what matters most... THE PROGRAMME OR THE PRESENTER? Can 2GB lose its breakfast and morning hosts and just keep bubbling along on the format?

This year's surveys, now underway, will help radio academics answer that. And I am right in the middle or this question because it's the one your reporter wanted so desperately to ask back in 1979. Sorry, but we're going to have to wade through a bit of ancient history here in order to travel further down this complex road. I was hired by GB GM Ron Hurst to re-fashion the news component. We had a lengthy phone call and I made it clear that I would recommend switching the place into NEWS/TALK/INFORMATION.

It was a hell of a gamble for the GM but Ron was up for it and I flew up for a long, face-to-face, which turned out to be extremely honest. In case you're planning on doing a treatise on this for your Uni of NSW Masters this is some of the stuff we sifted through at this Sydney meeting in '79. My first recommendation was to run the programme purely on format. No superstars. This went against all the prevailing wisdom which said you had to have a very high profile identity to do this format especially in the vital breakfast arena. Fail breakfast, you fail... Period. My philosophy was simple enough. You can't put the future of a major metro radio station in the hands of one superstar. You risk creating a monster... Who'll end up running the whole show given half a chance. It's a potential nightmare. Trust the format. I warned it would take 3-months prep to get it ready for launch day and I'd need a lot of help from the programmers. Our plan was to launch NEWS TALK INFO in breakfast and drive for the first 6 to 12 months and then transition to other areas.

As luck would have it my old buddy Geoff Brown, of 3MP fame, was actually in the house, already part of the programming team. We were hot to trot and Geoff would have absolutely loved to have got his hands on this ground-breaking format. As it happened we didn't get much of a chance to have any deep discussions. Virtually as I walked in the front door of Sussex Street, Ron Hurst walked out the back. Well, he was assisted in finding his way to the exit as I remember. And that was pretty much the end of the great experiment. The horse had bolted.

In recent time Sydney has been remembering the Lindt Café siege, marking the 10th anniversary of that awful event, but this was not the first Islamic Terrorist attack in Australia. For that we have to go back over 100 years to the Battle of Broken Hill. On Jan 1, 1915 two "Ghan" Camel Drivers, believing they were under orders to take part in a Holy War, opened fire on a picnic train carrying revellers to Silverton. The gunmen killed four picnic-goers and left another seven wounded before a party of soldiers and police brought them down in a final shootout. This was the Battle of Broken Hill, a little known piece of our early history.

Many year ago newspapers and radio and television outlets around the world carried the famous series "Ripley's Believe it or Not". The original started out in 1918 as a cartoon in the New York Globe, being eventually syndicated everywhere. Ripley's team searched around the world to come up with the most astounding and bizarre stories. I only mention this because I recently discovered a tale that would have won pride of place in Ripley's.

I was reading, or rather re-reading, one of my copies of Australian Golf Digest when I encountered Guy Yokom's story of the Payne Stewart tragedy of 1999. It remains one of the saddest incidents in golf. Payne was a golfing superstar of the era who was among six people on board a Learjet 30 which crashed in South Dakota. No one on board survived. The pilot and passengers all fell unconscious when the cabin suffered a catastrophic loss of pressure. The plane continued on auto pilot till the fuel ran out. It went down at 9.30 that morning. Payne Stewart was married to an Australian girl, Tracey, and her parents were actually visiting when the tragedy occurred. Payne had bought his mother-in- law a beautiful new wristwatch and she was wearing it when she went sightseeing in Florida on the day Payne and his team took off on the ill-fated flight. She raced back home to her daughter when she heard news of the tragedy. It wasn't until later that day when she checked the time and realised her watch had actually stopped working some time earlier. The hands were locked on 9.30... Believe it or not.

We enter another year which means another season of golf around the world. This what I'm hoping to see in 2025... Minjee Lee starts winning again on the LPGA. Brother Min Woo has a breakthrough victory on the PGA... Rory McIlroy wins his fifth major, hopefully the Masters... Jason Day gets back into the winner's circle on the Big Tour and fellow Aussie Aaron Baddeley finishes inside the top 125, to keep his card for another year. Oh and one last question... Is it possible that Tiger could have just one last win on his CV this season... Could the Great One do it one last time for us as the ultimate highlight for '25?

Watching SKY NEWS one afternoon when one of their commentators praised somebody for his "depreciationary sense of humour". "Hang on," I thought," does he mean deprecatory?" But I've been reflecting on that and now thinking maybe he was talking about someone with a really funny economic sense of humour!

I was sitting down in a Norwest Shopping Centre recently when this bloke came up and sat beside me, saying he was taking a brief break from his job where he'd worked pretty much all his life. He got up saying he'd better not take too much time off or he'd be in trouble. He left me with this Aussie classic: "For 42 years I've been pretending to work for this boss and for 42 years he's been pretending to pay me."

ANDY'S GONE WITH CATTLE

"Our Andy's gone to battle now, 'gainst drought the red marauder. Our Andy's gone with cattle now across the Queensland border. He's left us in dejection now, our hearts with him are roving. it's dull on this selection now since Andy went a droving... And may good angels send the rain on desert stretches sandy, and when the summer comes again, God grant 'twill bring us Andy."

– Written by Henry Lawson, first published in Australian Town and Country Journal, 1888

We've just lost another major radio star to retirement

2024-12-17T12:00:00+10:00

Now we've just lost another major radio star to retirement – Is it something in the water here in Sydney? – With Ray Hadley pulling the plug next month. A one-time taxi driver, Hads moved into radio as a traffic reporter at 2UE in 1981, switching to rugby league shortly afterwards. But it's his move to News/Talk 2GB in 2001 that elevated him to Superstar status, including an OAM for services to the industry. Ray spent 23 years at GB including a record 160 consecutive number one's in mornings. That is ridiculous. He is one of the biggest names in the trade in the last 25 years and the question for radio historians to think about is whether Ray Hadley is more than a legend... Has his career pushed him into the realm of the Giants?

At least Ray ended his GB career back on top in mornings as the AM superstation regained the high ground from those cheeky FM brats. And Ben Fordham got himself back in the big time with a solid rise to grab number one in Brekky, ahead of Kyle and Jackie O at KIIS. SMOOTH is the leading FM station overall while WS FM has fallen back a fraction in a year if musical chairs in the industry.
A final tribute this month to another leading light, the cheeky, controversial broadcaster Clive Robertson who has recently passed, aged 78. He was a quirky and eccentric character who worked with Aunty as well as the commercial sector. I remember Clive for ABC breakfast radio and for the odd TV show like Beauty and the Beast.

When I was a boy going to school one of the delights was the regular story of our Aussie heroes and heroines, those who went before us and made our history. Sadly the horse has well and truly bolted since then: I think Australian history disappeared from the classroom sometime in the 70s. I always remember the story of young Grace Bussell and the rescue of the SS Georgette on December 2, 1876... 148 years ago. Youngsters today won't have a clue what we're talking about but just for the record the ship started going down in heavy seas off the Margaret River in WA. They got a lifeboat out but it capsized in the rough surf. Aboriginal stockman Sam Isaacs saw the disaster and rode 20 kilometres to the Bussell Homestead to sound the alarm. While rescuers gathered, Grace jumped on her horse and, along with Sam, rode down to Redgate Beach, scene of the unfolding tragedy. Without thinking twice, young Grace steered her mount into the surf and started dragging survivors ashore. They hung on to the horse's tail, to the saddle and on to Grace... Anything to fight their way on to the beach. Sam was doing the same thing, pulling people out of the surf and helping get a rescue rope out to the vessel. It was heroic stuff. You can imagine the buzz a 14-year-old kid got out of hearing that story recounted by the teacher. As far as your reporter was concerned, Grace Bussell was an absolute hero... Always will be. She received the Royal Humane Society's Silver Medal and is remembered today by the names, Lake Grace and Gracetown in WA. Tell ya what, if you've got nothing on in December 2026, why don't we all head over to WA and gather at Redgate Beach for a 150th anniversary celebration, paying homage to Grace (pictured) and Sam?

I called the US Presidential election, predicting a Trump victory but I never expected The Donald to hold his vote among women, blacks and Hispanics... I certainly didn't see him taking out the popular vote. It was a disaster for Kamala Harris who started too late and couldn't survive the cost of living crisis. As they say in the classics, "It's the economy, stupid." The fact is, the Democrats I read and talk to were pretty positive even on the morning of polling day. There was a widespread belief that Kamala was going to give the White House a big nudge. They were devastated at the extent of the loss. Two things that I can summarise now that all the dust has settled. There was a tremendous increase in energy and excitement when Biden made way for his VP. The Democrats were buzzing. Thousands of extra volunteers came out of the woodwork and hit the ground running. Kamala was increasingly confident and upbeat. There was a distinct vibe in the air. This wasn't an act. The Democrats were on the front foot. Where did all this energy go? Answer: it stayed where it was originally... Among the Democratic faithful. It never moved beyond the party. Democrat voters were genuinely excited but the energy didn't transfer beyond the party. The Democrat analysts got it all wrong. There was no sudden, wide-scale upsurge in Kamala's popularity... It was restricted to the converted. Nobody else got the memo. The other key issue and the big surprise for everybody was the great "abortion debate", the right for women to make their own decision about reproduction. The Democrats were right into this issue, demanding women take responsibility for their own bodies and telling men and government to butt out. They were counting on mass female support for Kamala in a nation wide protest vote. And it never happened. All those Republican women who the Democrats predicted would defy their husbands at the ballot box and vote for Kamala just didn't do it. They voted for Donald. When it came down to it, the women of America voted in protest at the cost of livingl Their message was simply that THEY TRUSTED DONALD TRUMP TO FIX IT. Critics have lashed Harris for her campaign – Andew Bolt gave her a heck of a whack in a recent commentary – but I don't share these views. Harris got out there and worked very convincingly with her message of confidence and hope. She belted out her main theme, "Leave the angst and anger behind and vote for the future... vote for America." Even on the last day she was still out there, up front soldiering on... Sadly without a central, simple policy aimed at restoring the economy. Not enough time... No central policy... That's what got her in the end.

One of the big sporting issues of the year is the collapse in form of Australian golf star Minjee Lee, the lady with the best swing you've ever seen. She started okay on the LPGA with three top tens in the first ten tournaments. But there were some ominous signs with a series of shockers... A 77, and three 78s, including in two of the Majors. That simply isn't Minjee. She hits her drives straight down the middle and has a classic iron game from the fairway. What's wrong... Where has the magic gone? Minjee Lee, one of the best players in womens' golf, is currently ranked 43rd without a win this season on the US Tour.

Welcome back to Australia to Jason Day, one of our best golfers on the US Tour, who is home to play a couple of big tournaments downunder this summer. One of the first things Jason did after he left the airport was to track down a nearby bakery and get stuck into a good old Aussie meat pie. Welcome back to the Great South Land mate.

My favourite story of the year absolutely, the tale of Gold Coast Private Investigator Bill Edgar who has made the shift to the strangest job you've ever heard of. Bill is now the "Coffin Confessor". It started when a former client phoned Bill explaining that he was terminally ill and wanted to contract him to deliver a message at his funeral. Bill went to see the man who said he wanted him to speak on his behalf at the service, delivering a message that the man he thought to be a good mate had been trying to seduce his wife while he was lying in hospital, fighting for his life. It was a very strange request but Bill stood up and explained to the congregation that it wasn't personal, he was just carrying out the last wishes of the deceased. So he got up there and did it. You can imagine what that revelation was like among the congregation! I'm not sure I've got the rest completely right but apparently the story goes an elderly lady – in palliative care – heard the story and asked him if he'd do the same for her. This time he got up, speaking for the person in the coffin, and named a couple of family members who hadn't bothered to talk to the lady in over 40 years. So the final message went along the lines of, "If you didn't want to know me then, why have you turned up now for my funeral? So, there's the door. Leave." Which they did, as quietly as possible. I wish I had that on video. Anyway, this is what Bill does. No wonder his book is called "Coffin Confessor". He's also written a second publication "The Afterlife Confessional" (Penguin).

WE'LL MEET AGAIN.

"We'll meet again, Don't know where, Don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day.
Keep smiling through, Just like you always do,
‘Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away".

(One of the most iconic songs of the last 100 years, written by Ross Parker and Hughie Charles in 1939 and sung by Vera Lynn. An anthem for all those soldiers of WW2 at the front line just dreaming of when they'd get home again for that "sunny day")

We're listening to the end people... With John Laws, confirming that he going into retirement

2024-10-31T12:00:00+10:00

We're listening to the end people... With the last of the giants, John Laws, confirming that he is leaving the building to go into retirement. The 89 year old veteran expects to leave 2SM in early November, ending 71 years in radio. He started at 3BO Bendigo in 1953. I actually worked for several years at 3BO a few years later. Yep, I sat in the same seat, behind the same mic, as Lawsie. What will he do? Apparently he'll be packing his travel bags and heading overseas, a case of doing what he promised years ago when he said, "Hello World.. This is Long John."

Pardon me while I take a breath here as I've just seen the latest Survey figures. Cheeee... What the? KIIS FM has gone to number one in the overalls, ahead of WSFM and SMOOTH. Hang on, where's the King of News/Talk 2GB? Back in fourth spot, that's where, having divested three points this survey. And even the mighty Ben has slipped this time and finds himself number two in breakfast behind Kyle and Jackie O. Don't ask me, I just report this stuff.

I know I'm forever banging on about restoring rural Australia.. Keep the towns alive... Keep the trains running, all that sort of stuff. But we need to retain those idyllic images of our Old Australia. You know all that magical stuff? The giant cattle stations back of beyond... The Jillaroos and Jackaroos... Those classic homesteads with the verandah going all the way round... The Cobb and Co coach kicking up the dust and gibbers... The Bushrangers... And the mighty Darling River soaking its way down from Queensland through the outback to join the Murray in the far south. Do you love it or what? That's why I'm enjoying this story in my latest edition of Australian Senior Magazine, the story of Graeme and Dianne Nalder who own the Mooloomoon Shearing sheds on the Edwards River just out of Moulamein in the Riverina. Just dwell on that sentence, if you've got a few minutes, because it just screams out "Australia... Don't let this stuff disappear". What other country has a town with three double O's in the name? Actually it's not the original shed. That went down when a bushfire burnt through the whole property in 1890. But they build ‘em tough out there and the Nalders just keep moving on. Now they've built a tourist cabin and are turning the old shearing shed into a memorabilia site,including a shearers' wall of fame, another wall celebrating the history of the local aborigines, a life size statue of "The Headless horseman", and a display featuring the names of shearing sheds across the country. Their dream is to create a national shearing shed trail. Tourists will be able to drive from one end of Australia to the other and call in to pay homage to the local shearing shed,one of the things that built our country.

Another month, another round of allegations against the big supermarkets, mainly Coles and Woolworths, publically admonished for "the specials scam" where these so-called specials turn out to be 20% more expensive than the original price. Remember the "the cheese slice test" from my partner Darleen where the slices were now so thin that you could hold one up to the light an see right through it? Now Darleen reveals another sneaky sleight of hand. This is how it works. You regularly buy your favourite fruit/nut bar for $3.00. Suddenly it mysteriously disappears from the shelves. You search for months but can't find it. Then you eventually find a shop assistant who tells you that it's been out of stock, but is expected to return shortly. And sure enough, there it is,back on the shelves marked as a Special for $2.80. Not only is your favourite bar back but you can save 20 cents. However when you pick it up it seems slightly different. After a time you read the fine print and find that it is 20 cents cheaper but it's also 20% smaller. It's back in stock but they've lopped 20% off it. Don't you love these people!

The US Presidential election is upon us so – in fairness – I should join the queue of observers having a tilt at picking a winner. Which is very,VERY hard because the polls are virtually 50-50. I must also advise you that I was a strong supporter of several key policies of Donald Trump back when he defeated Hillary. Of course I had no idea that this bloke was so weird... I mean some of the stuff we're seeing now is left of bizarre. The thing is that this does not impact on Trump's base support. He can allege that migrants are eating America's pet family dogs but it doesn't matter. They're going to vote for him. I saw an NBC reporter talking to one lady this week and she told him Trump had been chosen by God to save America. So she's not changing her vote, I can tell you that. The question Democrat Kamala Harris has to solve is WHERE CAN SHE PICK UP A FEW THOUSAND UNCOMMITTED VOTES IN HALF A DOZEN KEY STATES IN ORDER TO SWING THE RESULT? Can she motivate enough independent/undecided voters to tick Democrat or can she swing enough middle ground Republicans who are angry at Trump‘s outrageous behavior? You can see that she has no intention of confronting the Republican base, fearing that this could drive the middle-of-the-roaders away from her. The problem with this is that she tends to be negative. What does Kamala stand for... What is the main reason people would want to vote for her? You can't base a campaign on "Don't vote for the other guy": you have to stand for something. I don't see Harris coming up with one simple, direct message which differentiates to two candidates. This is what worries me on the day of decision when the critical "Silent Majority" make their final decision. My prediction at this point is TRUMP... That he will carry his base plus just enough extras to get across the line. But oh boy, this is dreadfully close. Oh, and I've just seen that James Carville is predicting a win to Kamala, so I'm defying a legendary analyst as well. I write this with just as few days to go and Harris holding a three-point lead in the latest Opinion Polls, so Mr Carville may well get to have the last laugh.

Clearly it's pointless commenting on the dreadful situation in the Middle East. It's a "lose/lose" all the way: no winners there. But I do find one issue that remains puzzling. There are massive protests going on everywhere I look. Students have occupied universities in the US and Europe and in recent times I've been watching thousands hitting the city streets across Australia. These are virtually 95% pro-Palestinian demonstrations. We had a few Jewish protests after the original Hamas attack but it's mainly in support of the Gaza and Lebanese communities who are coming under massive Israeli assault. Fair enough. You protest about whatever you choose to. But not once can I recall thousands out in the streets or setting up protest camps in Universities in favour of the poor old, battered Ukrainians who are still fighting a huge rearguard action to stop a Russian takeover. As far as the protestors are concerned this is a non-event. I really don't know what this means but find it genuinely puzzling.

I can't help myself here: I have to say something about the AFL Grand Final... Not the match please, and I would take it as a great courtesy if you could control yourself from sending me any emails about the game, especially the final score. Many thanks! But the match wasn't the main event, it was the pre-game entertainment that's what really mattered in front of 100,000 fans at the MCG. Apparently this was a young woman called Katy Perry, clearly a VFP (c'mon guys, VERY FAMOUS PERSON... Jeez! Always try to remember Johnny Young's advice: "Be there of be square"). Anyway I sat through it... Just... And have to report that it was APALLING. There were no redeeming features. The music was just a collection of relentless, meaningless, anonymous, ubiquitous gunk. I don't think the lyrics mattered to anybody either. And Ms Perry was accompanied by a team of dancers dressed in sort of khaki-coloured boiler suits. It was like something from an old Woody Allen movie, say "Bananas" without the jungle. On reflection I can see it all. It's nothing to do with music, lyrics or singing... What we're looking at is AN EVENT. Remember what Andrew Lloyd Webber did to the Broadway Musical? This is the same technique. Then I thought back to earlier in the year when Australia had another high profile visit from a VFP. It was identical. The first thing that happens is the organisers leak to a cooperative journalist or TV channel that the VFP is going to tour somewhere or other. Within minutes it's hit the social media... "OMG... OMG... OMG... She's coming here... OMG... OMG!" A week or so later the promoters make it official, giving everyone the itinerary. And now the social media goes bananas... They can't control themselves. A short time later comes the next announcement... When tickets will be available. This is now like a tsunami of publicity. Finally the famous person gets here for the concert series and it explodes like the Lake Toba of Music. By the time the star gets to the stage her followers are almost in a trance like state. The singer gets to the opening song and half way through starts screaming, reaching this crescendo, which is answered by the audience... 90% young women. They screech back and are yelling and singing, clapping and dancing hysterically. When interviewed after the concert they are exultant... Transfixed... They've gone to a place they just can't explain. They have just been in the middle of AN EVENT. These have nothing to do with singing, music or lyrics... Everything is designed to create this EVENT. No one can explain this phenomenon... It is, therefore it is. Get used to it.

Can't say there's been a lot happening on the television scene so far, although I am enjoying another series of the crime drama Van der Valt, set in Amsterdam. Excellent storyline, beautiful script and a top class cast. I'm even mellowing towards the star Marc Warren who plays the enigmatic Chief Detective like a brooding Heathcliff with much meaningful gazing off into the distance. It's very entertaining especially the subtle ensemble work of the fine groups of actors. Sadly, I think the ABC voiceover told me last night that this was the end of the current series. TV is like life really... One minute it's there within your gasp... The next, gone.

I was watching the Sydney Marathon recently, all those runners battling their way along the 42 kilometres and there on the footpath was some scallywag holding up a large sign which read "My mother can run faster than you can".

A TOWN LIKE ALICE
"A town like Alice, just the place for me.
With my own piece of ground, the mountain around.
That's where I'll be. I don't need a palace, just want a simple home.
With the blue sky above, and someone to love, I'll never roam."

This was written in 1956 by our old friend, Letty Katts, the lady who gave us another outback masterpiece, "Never Never" in the mid-40s. It follows the famous Nevil Shute novel A TOWN LIKE ALICE in 1950 and the excellent movie version, with Peter Finch and Virginia McKenna, in '56.

The King of News/Talk 2GB is still ruling the roost in the latest Sydney survey...

2024-09-13T12:00:00+10:00

The King of News/Talk 2GB is still ruling the roost in the latest Sydney survey, number one overall and on top in breakfast where Ben Fordham has had a handy little 15.6 to put him clear of KIIS and Kyle and Jacki O. What is interesting this time around is that WSFM has come back into the spotlight and is battling it out with KIIS and SMOOTH for FM leadership. This looks like developing into a bit of a stoush over the rest of the year. Analysts are also extremely keen to see how things go for KIIS networking the Kyle and Jackie O Show into the Melbourne market. Initial results are less than exciting and the trade will be watching this interstate experiment through the rest of the year. Prevailing wisdom suggests that networking won't work in Australia: the cities are so different. And boy are the Sydney and Melbourne markets different!

We pay final tribute this month to another departed veteran of our industry, with Sam Anglesea leaving us, aged 80. I worked with "Big Sam" at 7HO, Hobart (just about every body actually worked at HO) before he headed across the Strait to Melbourne to ride 3UZ all the way up to number one. UZ was one of the most dominant stations in Australia in that era. Like many others, Sam kicked off his career in country radio but has all the bragging rights really because he started at 6KG, Kalgoorlie. Now that is deep out there into the country... Pretty much as deep as you can get.

One of my favourite moments of the year with a couple of old stagers getting together for a reunion coffee and a celebration of the OAM. There they are, Geoff Brown and Yours Truly, touching base after Browny made the long drive down from BAY FM, Nelson Bay (Yes, to answer your next question... He's still going strong in the business after plus-60 years of playing old 78s, 45s and episodes of When a Girl Marries, not to mention having to ride the sound level of the 2MG Studio panel in case a sudden burst of laughter/applause in the middle of "Pick a Box" blew the transmitter off air). We met in the mid-70s when we had to reprogramme 3MP in dramatic circumstances, in order to meet our original licence commitments (don't go there). There was a lot of juggling involved as we re-fashioned MP's "local content", charity and public announcements, emerging the best of buddies forever.

I am overwhelmed by Australia's performance at the Paris Olympics. I'd downgraded my expectations to twelve gold medals. Instead, we came up with a record 18 – a phenomenal return. The thing is Los Angeles in 4 years time is looking just as promising. Have a look just below the surface: we also emerged with nineteen silver and sixteen bronze, a clear indication that we're not looking at a few stars getting hot all at once, but rather strong across-the-board quality, settling in at the Olympic level for the long term. This is genuine depth. We've got some infrastructure going here. The downside of Paris '24 is again that we're too reliant on the women... We need a stronger showing from the blokes, especially in the water next time. And a bit of luck in finding a few more elite performers in track and field. Again, though there are signs of some depth developing there – even on the track area which Australia has found so difficult in recent Games. I'm also upbeat about a stronger showing in the team sports. We couldn't grab a break this year in hockey, basketball, soccer, football, water polo... We just needed a bit of luck in some of these to push our gold tally up to twenty. I'm telling ya... Things look good for LA and Brisbane. Just one last Olympic observation. In all the praise for Australia, did anybody notice that New Zealand finished with ten Gold Medals? NZ has a population of just over 5 million.

She's a funny old country this Australia, the land where we're all supposed to roll up our sleeves and help each other. Not much sign of that from the billion-dollar corporations who continue to wring ever last bit of cash out of the "average Joe". No point complaining anymore about the giant supermarkets: they just keep pushing up prices in the middle of a cost-of-living crisis. Even our Telstra bill keeps on going up every time. A little bit here, a little bit there. "Maybe we won't notice it". And it's not just the companies who are keeping their snout in the trough. The federal and state governments have actually turned it into an art form. Petrol excise is shameful... Petrol is supposed to be there to power cars, not to power the Government. And I don't drink beer but really! The latest increase has me wondering about the people who run our nation. What was once the age-old social practice of sitting down and having a beer with your mates has now become a luxury. Used to be a time when you could buy a beer out of the loose change in your pocket. Now if you want to shout your mates, bring your Visa card. Who is there these days who actually gives a damn about the average Aussie?

I continue my long search to try to find out how my Country managed to get itself hijacked by a consortium of bureaucratic/academic elite, mainly populating the cafe society of our inner cities. May I step aside and make way for Nick Cater of the Menzies Research Centre who recorded his observations in a commentary in The Australian a little while back, which may answer some of our queries. "Today our country is more divided, less proud, more pessimistic and more tribal... In 2007, 58% of Australians felt great pride in the Australian way of life and culture. This year it is 33%... This relentless, insidious, tiresome barrage of guilt and moral self-loathing has inevitably eaten away at our national self-confidence... We must remind new immigrants of the unwritten rule that obliges every migrant to leave historical grievances behind... And remind ourselves of our greater loyalty to Australia and its people, whose democratic beliefs we share, whose rights and liberties we respect, and whose laws we will uphold and obey". This remains the most devastatingly honest assessment of the Australian condition that I've got to read this year. But you know what they say in the classics, there's a silver lining there somewhere behind all those black clouds. And it turns out to be in "The Order", the magazine published by The Order of Australia Association, which features an exit-interview with Governor General David Hurley who has recently retired from the role. He tells the story how he and wife Linda went to Cloncurry and Julia Creek in 2019 just after the place had been hit by massive floods. "I was talking to some property managers and owners. I said, 'you have a lot of hard work ahead of you.' They replied, 'Governor General, we're not afraid of hard work, just give us a good season.' That comment has stayed with me for five years. It tells me so much about who we are as Australians... I have never heard such a concise explanation of who we are. We're not looking for short cuts or a hand out. We just want a level playing field, the chance to work hard and get ahead."

My compliments to Donut King for what may well be the most inventive t-shirt of the year. It reads "Save the Earth... It's the only planet with Donuts".

"WE'RE ALL AUSTRALIANS NOW" (1915)

Australia takes her pen in hand to write a line to you
To let you fellows understand how proud we are of you.
From shearing shed and cattle run, from Broome to Hobson's Bay,
Each native-born Australian son stands straighter up today.

Banjo Paterson wrote this poem in praise of all the people who worked so hard to convince the colonies to unite into one country – Australia.