We're listening to the end people... With John Laws, confirming that he going into retirement

We're listening to the end people... With the last of the giants, John Laws, confirming that he is leaving the building to go into retirement. The 89 year old veteran expects to leave 2SM in early November, ending 71 years in radio. He started at 3BO Bendigo in 1953. I actually worked for several years at 3BO a few years later. Yep, I sat in the same seat, behind the same mic, as Lawsie. What will he do? Apparently he'll be packing his travel bags and heading overseas, a case of doing what he promised years ago when he said, "Hello World.. This is Long John."



Pardon me while I take a breath here as I've just seen the latest Survey figures. Cheeee... What the? KIIS FM has gone to number one in the overalls, ahead of WSFM and SMOOTH. Hang on, where's the King of News/Talk 2GB? Back in fourth spot, that's where, having divested three points this survey. And even the mighty Ben has slipped this time and finds himself number two in breakfast behind Kyle and Jackie O. Don't ask me, I just report this stuff.

I know I'm forever banging on about restoring rural Australia.. Keep the towns alive... Keep the trains running, all that sort of stuff. But we need to retain those idyllic images of our Old Australia. You know all that magical stuff? The giant cattle stations back of beyond... The Jillaroos and Jackaroos... Those classic homesteads with the verandah going all the way round... The Cobb and Co coach kicking up the dust and gibbers... The Bushrangers... And the mighty Darling River soaking its way down from Queensland through the outback to join the Murray in the far south. Do you love it or what? That's why I'm enjoying this story in my latest edition of Australian Senior Magazine, the story of Graeme and Dianne Nalder who own the Mooloomoon Shearing sheds on the Edwards River just out of Moulamein in the Riverina. Just dwell on that sentence, if you've got a few minutes, because it just screams out "Australia... Don't let this stuff disappear". What other country has a town with three double O's in the name? Actually it's not the original shed. That went down when a bushfire burnt through the whole property in 1890. But they build ‘em tough out there and the Nalders just keep moving on. Now they've built a tourist cabin and are turning the old shearing shed into a memorabilia site,including a shearers' wall of fame, another wall celebrating the history of the local aborigines, a life size statue of "The Headless horseman", and a display featuring the names of shearing sheds across the country. Their dream is to create a national shearing shed trail. Tourists will be able to drive from one end of Australia to the other and call in to pay homage to the local shearing shed,one of the things that built our country.

Another month, another round of allegations against the big supermarkets, mainly Coles and Woolworths, publically admonished for "the specials scam" where these so-called specials turn out to be 20% more expensive than the original price. Remember the "the cheese slice test" from my partner Darleen where the slices were now so thin that you could hold one up to the light an see right through it? Now Darleen reveals another sneaky sleight of hand. This is how it works. You regularly buy your favourite fruit/nut bar for $3.00. Suddenly it mysteriously disappears from the shelves. You search for months but can't find it. Then you eventually find a shop assistant who tells you that it's been out of stock, but is expected to return shortly. And sure enough, there it is,back on the shelves marked as a Special for $2.80. Not only is your favourite bar back but you can save 20 cents. However when you pick it up it seems slightly different. After a time you read the fine print and find that it is 20 cents cheaper but it's also 20% smaller. It's back in stock but they've lopped 20% off it. Don't you love these people!

The US Presidential election is upon us so – in fairness – I should join the queue of observers having a tilt at picking a winner. Which is very,VERY hard because the polls are virtually 50-50. I must also advise you that I was a strong supporter of several key policies of Donald Trump back when he defeated Hillary. Of course I had no idea that this bloke was so weird... I mean some of the stuff we're seeing now is left of bizarre. The thing is that this does not impact on Trump's base support. He can allege that migrants are eating America's pet family dogs but it doesn't matter. They're going to vote for him. I saw an NBC reporter talking to one lady this week and she told him Trump had been chosen by God to save America. So she's not changing her vote, I can tell you that. The question Democrat Kamala Harris has to solve is WHERE CAN SHE PICK UP A FEW THOUSAND UNCOMMITTED VOTES IN HALF A DOZEN KEY STATES IN ORDER TO SWING THE RESULT? Can she motivate enough independent/undecided voters to tick Democrat or can she swing enough middle ground Republicans who are angry at Trump‘s outrageous behavior? You can see that she has no intention of confronting the Republican base, fearing that this could drive the middle-of-the-roaders away from her. The problem with this is that she tends to be negative. What does Kamala stand for... What is the main reason people would want to vote for her? You can't base a campaign on "Don't vote for the other guy": you have to stand for something. I don't see Harris coming up with one simple, direct message which differentiates to two candidates. This is what worries me on the day of decision when the critical "Silent Majority" make their final decision. My prediction at this point is TRUMP... That he will carry his base plus just enough extras to get across the line. But oh boy, this is dreadfully close. Oh, and I've just seen that James Carville is predicting a win to Kamala, so I'm defying a legendary analyst as well. I write this with just as few days to go and Harris holding a three-point lead in the latest Opinion Polls, so Mr Carville may well get to have the last laugh.

Clearly it's pointless commenting on the dreadful situation in the Middle East. It's a "lose/lose" all the way: no winners there. But I do find one issue that remains puzzling. There are massive protests going on everywhere I look. Students have occupied universities in the US and Europe and in recent times I've been watching thousands hitting the city streets across Australia. These are virtually 95% pro-Palestinian demonstrations. We had a few Jewish protests after the original Hamas attack but it's mainly in support of the Gaza and Lebanese communities who are coming under massive Israeli assault. Fair enough. You protest about whatever you choose to. But not once can I recall thousands out in the streets or setting up protest camps in Universities in favour of the poor old, battered Ukrainians who are still fighting a huge rearguard action to stop a Russian takeover. As far as the protestors are concerned this is a non-event. I really don't know what this means but find it genuinely puzzling.

I can't help myself here: I have to say something about the AFL Grand Final... Not the match please, and I would take it as a great courtesy if you could control yourself from sending me any emails about the game, especially the final score. Many thanks! But the match wasn't the main event, it was the pre-game entertainment that's what really mattered in front of 100,000 fans at the MCG. Apparently this was a young woman called Katy Perry, clearly a VFP (c'mon guys, VERY FAMOUS PERSON... Jeez! Always try to remember Johnny Young's advice: "Be there of be square"). Anyway I sat through it... Just... And have to report that it was APALLING. There were no redeeming features. The music was just a collection of relentless, meaningless, anonymous, ubiquitous gunk. I don't think the lyrics mattered to anybody either. And Ms Perry was accompanied by a team of dancers dressed in sort of khaki-coloured boiler suits. It was like something from an old Woody Allen movie, say "Bananas" without the jungle. On reflection I can see it all. It's nothing to do with music, lyrics or singing... What we're looking at is AN EVENT. Remember what Andrew Lloyd Webber did to the Broadway Musical? This is the same technique. Then I thought back to earlier in the year when Australia had another high profile visit from a VFP. It was identical. The first thing that happens is the organisers leak to a cooperative journalist or TV channel that the VFP is going to tour somewhere or other. Within minutes it's hit the social media... "OMG... OMG... OMG... She's coming here... OMG... OMG!" A week or so later the promoters make it official, giving everyone the itinerary. And now the social media goes bananas... They can't control themselves. A short time later comes the next announcement... When tickets will be available. This is now like a tsunami of publicity. Finally the famous person gets here for the concert series and it explodes like the Lake Toba of Music. By the time the star gets to the stage her followers are almost in a trance like state. The singer gets to the opening song and half way through starts screaming, reaching this crescendo, which is answered by the audience... 90% young women. They screech back and are yelling and singing, clapping and dancing hysterically. When interviewed after the concert they are exultant... Transfixed... They've gone to a place they just can't explain. They have just been in the middle of AN EVENT. These have nothing to do with singing, music or lyrics... Everything is designed to create this EVENT. No one can explain this phenomenon... It is, therefore it is. Get used to it.

Can't say there's been a lot happening on the television scene so far, although I am enjoying another series of the crime drama Van der Valt, set in Amsterdam. Excellent storyline, beautiful script and a top class cast. I'm even mellowing towards the star Marc Warren who plays the enigmatic Chief Detective like a brooding Heathcliff with much meaningful gazing off into the distance. It's very entertaining especially the subtle ensemble work of the fine groups of actors. Sadly, I think the ABC voiceover told me last night that this was the end of the current series. TV is like life really... One minute it's there within your gasp... The next, gone.

I was watching the Sydney Marathon recently, all those runners battling their way along the 42 kilometres and there on the footpath was some scallywag holding up a large sign which read "My mother can run faster than you can".

A TOWN LIKE ALICE
"A town like Alice, just the place for me.
With my own piece of ground, the mountain around.
That's where I'll be. I don't need a palace, just want a simple home.
With the blue sky above, and someone to love, I'll never roam."

This was written in 1956 by our old friend, Letty Katts, the lady who gave us another outback masterpiece, "Never Never" in the mid-40s. It follows the famous Nevil Shute novel A TOWN LIKE ALICE in 1950 and the excellent movie version, with Peter Finch and Virginia McKenna, in '56.